If you make only one or two of the changes that transform your congregation's culture of adult formation, you can expect to find yourself embroiled in conflict. There is nothing more typical than a congregation that hires a new adult formation director asking that person to help it grow and then resists—at every turn—attempts to make it happen. Expect conflict. Expect resistance. Know that when it happens, things are changing. Whatever you do, do not fall into the trap of making everybody happy with adult education. A "happy" congregation is not a spiritually growing one.

As a parishioner cum-staff-member myself, I know that leaders may cause unnecessary conflict through making poor decisions or not living out of sound Christian practices. When there is tension, the first thing I do is to take a spiritual self-inventory:

• Is there anything I have done that is stupid, inappropriate, or un-Christian to cause this?
  
• Do I need to apologize to anyone? Make amends? Start all over again?
  
• Is this of my own making? My fault?

Pray, study, and seek wise counsel on your leadership practices.

Even if you deem the situation to be "my fault," recognize that God can still use it. Perhaps it was over-zealousness or enthusiasm for an idea or for justice that carried you into the conflict. You may well be "right," but have failed to communicate that appropriately. Appreciate what gifts or passions created this situation—and how God might use it to teach you better leadership skills and spiritual maturity.

But honest self-assessment does not let your congregation off the hook. In times of congregational change, as much as twenty percent of a congregation might be overtly resisting transformation and undermining new ways of doing things. The more virulent the resistance, the more profound the change-in-the-making. Don't get frightened and stop. Keep moving. Continue to develop leaders who understand what is happening across the congregation. Remember that conflict is part of a process of growth. Avail yourself of resources on managing conflict (such as those in the "Conflict" section of the Congregational Resource Guide). As a congregational educator, use the opportunity to teach about conflict and change, and encourage theological engagement with ideals of mission, vision, and Christian community.

Conflict, when handled creativity, can create genuine teaching moments for many in the congregation. Or, alternatively, it may be a signal that the congregation >will not change—and perhaps God would better use your gifts and vision elsewhere. Conflict not only teaches, but also provides a unique situation for discernment for individuals and congregations.

Questions to consider:

• Do you do regular leadership self-assessment in prayer or with colleagues?
  
• How do you handle conflict and criticism? Do you have skills to deal with church conflict?