Addiction and Anxiety: A Spiritual Perspective

Unhealthy intimacy patterns in which people act out—and do not talk out—are also of spiritual concern. Those who cannot "talk, trust, and feel" God cannot love God with "all their heart, mind, and soul." Healthy spirituality requires capacities for healthy intimacy with God in one’s entire being. As Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body (Ephesians 5:28-29 NIV).

As this text demonstrates, in order to love one’s spouse one must learn to love oneself. This love requires a capacity for healthy "talk, trust, and feel" intimacy.

The prime directive of spiritual organizations such as churches—and specifically the Christian church—is to teach love. "God is love," "God so loved the world," and other scriptures speak of God’s nature. In so doing they call individuals to love God. When people are called into discipleship, the scriptures often require that they separate from their material and relational connections in the world:

• Once the hand is put to the plow one cannot look back.


• Once you start fleeing you can’t turn around or you’ll become a pillar of salt.


• If you’re going to be a disciple you can’t bury your father.


• If you’re rich, you can’t follow Jesus if you’re still tied to possessions.


• If you want to be like Elijah, butcher your oxen, burn the yoke, and move on.


• If you’re a fisherman you must leave your nets and boats behind.


• If you follow Jesus your family will be divided mother against daughter.


• If you want to live in God’s promises you’ll have to move out of Haran…even if you’re 75 years old. And when, 25 years later, God finally gives you a son he’ll test your discipleship by seeing if you’re able to separate yourself from your son by offering him as a sacrifice.

This is how God tests love: by causing us to have to undergo separation from earthly loves. As Job discovered, he gives so that when he takes away we will love him and exclaim, "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:21). If separation anxiety is a root cause for unhealthy individuals and organizations, then the number one task is to provide a spirituality that recognizes, accepts, assists, and celebrates the process of separation, brokenness, and spiritual renewal.

Perhaps it is not coincidental that many in this so-called "postmodern" age are seeking this sort of authentic and genuine spirituality apart from the institutional church. In unhealthy, anxiety-based, addictive congregations, such authentic spirituality cannot exist. The addictive process overwhelms it.