This underlying developmental theory helps us understand the sequence of steps—why, for example, we need to begin with feelings and story. However, it is not necessary to remember the theory to use the basic steps and tools in any setting. When discussing any difficult issue, it is the process or tools themselves which are helpful, used in the following order:

1. Exploring hopes and fears;
   
2. Telling personal stories;
   
3. Doing Bible study;
   
4. Using common (or denominational) resources;
   
5. Applying conflict management tools;
   
6. Engaging in common worship (or other appropriate symbolic activity).