Emotional Intelligence

Research into the field of emotional intelligence has concluded that self-knowledge, an awareness of one’s emotions and their impact on others, is a key factor in giving exceptional leadership in any organization. Without this self-knowledge it is virtually impossible to empathize with another person. It is this capacity for empathy, for reading the feelings of others, that creates what Primal Leadership authors Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee call "resonant leadership."

When the members of a group or community (or congregation) work with an emotionally intelligent leader, they connect with each other at an emotional level, form significant bonds, and can stay focused on their mission even in the face of disorienting change and stress. Their energy and investment are high and they feel free to exercise creativity and take appropriate risks. In the case of what these authors describe as "discordant leadership," the group or congregation can be hobbled by a lack of trust. The discordant leader’s negative tone is manifested as barbed humor, cynicism, manipulation, and subtle judgments. When the leader is either unaware of his or her negative impact on others or unconcerned for their well-being, the community dynamic can become toxic.

According to Goleman, Boyatzis, and McKee, emotionally intelligent leaders will exhibit competencies in four key areas: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relational management.

Self-awareness refers to leaders’ ability to have ready access to their own feelings and understand how these feelings influence their relationships and their performance. This self-awareness also permits accurate self-assessment. Emotionally intelligent leaders have a realistic view of themselves and are able to be self-affirming as well as to identify their growing edges and work on them.

Self-management is the ability to manage strong emotions and impulses during highly stressful situations. It is the ability to stay focused on the issues at hand and not be driven inappropriately by strong feelings, which may compound the problems. Self-management refers to one’s ability to state one’s feelings clearly and proportionately in a given situation. It also means possessing the ability to set one’s immediate strong feelings aside in order to hear the other deeply. Without self-management our feelings can become the agenda of the conversation and we risk missing the broader dynamic in the situation.

Social awareness is described as the leader’s ability to read, understand, and relate to the social networks, power relationships, and political forces at work within the organization. It is the ability to relate creatively to individual representatives of various networks as well as to the groups as a whole and to exhibit the degree of empathy necessary to grasp the other person’s point of view.

Relationship management includes the ability to nurture and mentor others in maximizing their contributions. Emotionally intelligent leaders are also able to give timely and constructive feedback and help others embrace a common vision. Additionally, they are change catalysts who advocate for change and motivate others by building buy-in. They present change as a reasonable and healthy risk and describe the change as achievable. They create a sufficiently safe environment for risk taking and an atmosphere of shared ownership, and they balance the attendant conflict and resistance.

It is as important that the congregation possesses this emotional intelligence as it is for the clergy leader. Knowing its history, understanding the values that shape its corporate life, and "owning" its shadow side—its fears, temptations, and self-imposed constraints—make possible the accurate self-assessment of its ministry. The ability to identify the way in which the congregation needs to grow and mature, the ability to name its demons and in some cases its secrets, will help release new energy for ministry, whether these demons represent constraining attitudes toward money, resistance to growth, or fear in the face of a racially transitional community.

Along with a clearheaded understanding of its shadow side, the congregation must also be articulate about its dream, the risks it is willing to take to accomplish that dream, and the spiritual and behavioral covenants that must be kept along the way. Establishing norms for how the congregation will live out its life together and working intentionally to honor those norms is a sign of congregational health.